Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, June 23, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
MAN FINED AFTER HIDING IN CORNFIELD AND WHISPERING “GET OUT” TO STRANGERS AT PUMPKIN PATCH
MAN FINED AFTER HIDING IN CORNFIELD AND WHISPERING “GET OUT” TO STRANGERS AT PUMPKIN PATCH DES MOINES, IA — A local man was fined Saturday after allegedly spending nearly four hours hiding inside a corn maze and quietly whispering “get out” to families attempting to enjoy a fall pumpkin patch festival. According to witnesses, 38-year-old Travis McCoy positioned himself several rows deep in the corn and waited for visitors to pass before delivering the message in what deputies described as “an unnecessarily convincing horror movie voice.” Several guests reportedly believed the attraction included paid actors until they realized no employee badge was visible. The sheriff's report states McCoy had brought: A folding chair. Two sandwiches. A portable phone charger. A notebook ranking visitor reactions from 1 to 10. One family reportedly abandoned the maze after hearing “you still have time” whispered from somewhere in the corn. Another group claimed they heard, “The pumpkins know,” moments before sprinting toward the exit. When deputies located McCoy, he allegedly explained that he was simply “improving immersion” and providing customers with a more authentic autumn experience. Authorities say he became emotional when asked to leave, arguing that attendance numbers were likely up because of him. As he was escorted out, witnesses say he pointed toward the cornfield and yelled: “You can remove me, but you can't remove the atmosphere!” Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
FILEDWOMAN DETAINED AFTER ATTEMPTING TO RETURN A MATTRESS CLAIMING IT…
PHOENIX, AZ — A woman was detained after allegedly attempting to return a mattress she had owned for nearly…
FILEDMAN BANNED FROM ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET AFTER STAFF CLAIM HE OPERATED…
TAMPA, FL — An all-you-can-eat buffet has permanently banned a customer after employees accused him of…
FLORIDAWOMAN DETAINED AFTER REPLACING HOLY WATER WITH COCONUT WATER,…
NAPLES, FL — A Florida woman was detained Sunday morning after allegedly emptying a church holy water font…
FLORIDAPOWERBALL WINNER ARRESTED AFTER MAILING EX A CHECK FOR ONE CENT WITH…
ORLANDO, FL — A Florida Powerball winner was arrested Tuesday after allegedly mailing his ex-girlfriend a…