Filed by The Dude on Wednesday, July 1, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER REFUSING TO LEAVE BRUNCH BUFFET, CLAIMING THE "BOTTOMLESS CLAUSE" COVERED THE ENTIRE MENU
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER REFUSING TO LEAVE BRUNCH BUFFET, CLAIMING THE "BOTTOMLESS CLAUSE" COVERED THE ENTIRE MENU Orlando, FL — Sheriff's deputies were called to a waterfront brunch restaurant Sunday after a customer allegedly refused to leave more than six hours after paying for an all-you-can-eat brunch, insisting the restaurant's "bottomless" promotion legally entitled him to stay until closing. In this satirical story, Trevor Malone, 34, reportedly arrived at 10:02 a.m. and spent the next several hours making what staff described as "17 strategic buffet laps." Employees say Trevor repeatedly pointed to the menu's Bottomless Mimosas advertisement while arguing it also implied "bottomless access to brunch." When servers informed him brunch had ended at 2 p.m., Trevor allegedly replied, "The waffles may stop, but the contract doesn't." Witnesses claim he applauded every time fresh bacon arrived and referred to himself as a "long-term brunch investor." Restaurant management finally called deputies after Trevor allegedly attempted to begin what he called "Dinner Phase One" by moving closer to the kitchen. He was escorted out peacefully while reportedly yelling, "You'll be hearing from the Breakfast Bar Association!" Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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