Filed by The Dude on Wednesday, August 12, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN KICKED OFF A CRUISE FOR ROPING OFF A DECK AND CHARGING PASSENGERS $25 TO SIT THERE
WOMAN KICKED OFF A CRUISE FOR ROPING OFF A DECK AND CHARGING PASSENGERS $25 TO SIT THERE HARBOR CLEMENT, TX — A passenger was removed from a cruise ship Saturday after crew discovered she had cordoned off a portion of an upper sun deck and was selling access to it as a premium seating area. Rochelle Kingsbury, 41, ran the operation for four full days before anyone reported it to crew. The report lists the following details: Kingsbury charged $25 for adults and $12 for children under thirteen She built the barrier from two deck chairs and a length of rope from a lifeboat station She hand-lettered her price sign on the back of a shipboard daily activity flyer She wore a badge she had made using a photo printed at the ship's photo desk She took in an estimated $980 in cash over the course of the four days She offered a discounted two day pass to anyone who came back a second time She kept a guest list on a clipboard and checked names off as people arrived She had a cooler of bottled water she handed out free with every paid entry Passengers reportedly continued paying even after being told directly that the area was open to everyone on board, and two families bought multi-day passes on the third morning. She was required to refund nineteen separate guests before the ship reached port. She kept the hand-lettered sign, which security allowed her to take with her. Nobody was ever actually kept out of the area. They paid her anyway to be let in. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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