Filed by The Dude on Monday, May 18, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN, 27, JAILED AFTER SECRETLY EDITING HER EX-BOYFRIEND'S NEW GIRLFRIEND'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE TO INCLUDE HER ARREST RECORD FROM 2018
WOMAN, 27, JAILED AFTER SECRETLY EDITING HER EX-BOYFRIEND'S NEW GIRLFRIEND'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE TO INCLUDE HER ARREST RECORD FROM 2018 LOS ANGELES, CA — Authorities arrested Adriana Sofia Velez, 27, on Thursday evening after she allegedly spent three weeks editing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's Wikipedia page to include a 2018 shoplifting arrest the woman had quietly expunged years ago. Witnesses say Velez, wearing a black tank top and a small gold "A" necklace, calmly admitted to officers she had created six fake editor accounts to keep restoring the section every time it was removed by Wikipedia moderators. According to the police report: - Velez allegedly added an entire "Legal Issues" section to Jessica Monroe's page, complete with cited screenshots, a booking photo, and a footnote that read "see also, karma" - The edits reportedly survived an average of 14 hours before moderators removed them, at which point Velez restored them under usernames including "TruthSeeker1995" and "JusticeForBrandon" - A friend, identified only as Camila from yoga, told reporters Velez had a sticky note on her laptop that read "she was not just an influencer, she was a SUSPECT in 2018" - Velez allegedly cross-referenced the arrest record on three separate fan forums and a Reddit thread titled "things she's hiding" - Officers recovered the laptop, a printed Wikipedia editing manual, and a Google Doc titled "RECEIPTS PHASE 2" listing eleven more facts she planned to add Sergeant Marco Delarosa, a 25-year veteran of the LAPD, addressed reporters at the scene. "In twenty-five years I have handled keyed cars, broken windows, and one ex who hired a plane. This is the first time I have logged a crime committed entirely through citation formatting. I am going home." She didn't text him, call him, or show up at his door. She just edited the internet until the truth showed up in Google. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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