Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, May 19, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY STEALING A KIDDIE POOL, FILLING IT WITH BUDWEISER, AND SITTING IN IT ON HIS FRONT LAWN
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY STEALING A KIDDIE POOL, FILLING IT WITH BUDWEISER, AND SITTING IN IT ON HIS FRONT LAWN NEW PORT RICHEY, FL — Authorities arrested Cody Wayne Pickering, 41, on Saturday afternoon after he allegedly dragged a stolen 4-foot blue plastic kiddie pool from his neighbor's backyard, filled it with 84 cans of Budweiser and one bag of ice, and reclined inside it on his own front lawn wearing only a Hawaiian shirt and swim trunks. Witnesses say Pickering, sporting wild curly hair and a smirk one neighbor described as "the smirk of a man living his actual dream," waved at every passing car while drinking from a koozie shaped like a bald eagle. According to the police report: - Pickering reportedly took the pool from neighbor Earl Boudreaux's yard at approximately 11:14 a.m. while Boudreaux was at church - He allegedly emptied an entire 84-pack of Budweiser into the pool, sprinkled a single bag of Publix ice across the top, and announced to his street "the pub is open boys" - A passing jogger, identified only as Tina from two streets over, recorded the entire scene while saying "he has a SPEAKER playing Kenny Chesney, this is the most committed bit I've ever witnessed" - Pickering reportedly invited the responding officers to "grab a cold one" before being detained and asked them to "tip the lifeguard on the way out" - Officers recovered the pool, 71 empty cans, the eagle koozie, a soggy bag of pork rinds, and a hand-painted cardboard sign that read "DEEP END, NO FLOATIES" Sergeant Buford Renfroe, a 26-year veteran of the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, addressed reporters at the scene. "In twenty-six years patrolling this county I have responded to lawn parties, lawn fights, and one Slip 'N Slide that violated three ordinances. This is the first time I have logged a kiddie pool as a licensed-feeling establishment. I am going home." He didn't break a window or hurt a single soul. He just borrowed Earl's pool, opened the bar, and let Kenny Chesney handle the rest until the cruiser pulled up. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
BREAKINGWAITRESS ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY DUMPING A WHOLE FRYER BASKET OF…
PROVIDENCE, RI — Authorities arrested Marconi's Italian Grill waitress Sophia Renata Vitaliano, 27, on Friday…
FLORIDAFLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER STEALING POLICE CRUISER FROM WAFFLE HOUSE…
PENSACOLA, FL — A Florida man was arrested after police say he stole a patrol car from a Waffle House parking…
FLORIDAFLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY TRYING TO TRADE A LIVE IGUANA…
KISSIMMEE, FL — Authorities arrested Dale Beauford Patterson, 51, on Tuesday afternoon after he allegedly…
FILEDPANAMA CITY, FL — Jacob Tanner, 31, was detained Saturday morning…
According to the police report, Tanner sat at the counter, ordered an All-Star Special with extra hash…