Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, May 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
GALVESTON, TX — Priya Nandel, 30, was arrested Saturday after allegedly lifting a live lobster from a cruise ship's dining room tank and sprinting to the upper deck to "release it back to the sea."
GALVESTON, TX — Priya Nandel, 30, was arrested Saturday after allegedly lifting a live lobster from a cruise ship's dining room tank and sprinting to the upper deck to "release it back to the sea." According to the ship's incident report, Nandel reached into the display tank during dinner service, tucked the banded lobster under her hoodie, and made it up four flights of stairs before crew caught her at the railing mid-throw. Responding officers say they found: - A live lobster, still banded, recovered near the deck rail - A handwritten note in Nandel's pocket reading "you were never on the menu" - A second lobster she had reportedly "scouted but couldn't reach" - A damp hoodie pocket and a trail of water from the dining room to deck 11 - A list titled "Tank Inmates" with one name circled A dining room server told officers Nandel had announced the lobster "had served its time." "She informed us she was running 'a one-creature rescue operation,'" said Galveston County Deputy Marcus Cole. "She asked whether the lobster had at least 'made it in' before we stopped her." The banded lobster was logged into evidence and declined to comment. Nandel was charged with theft and released Sunday. She reportedly asked officers whether the ship's tank "took visitors." She carried a lobster up eleven decks for a shot at freedom. The throw fell short. The charges landed. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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