Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, May 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
LOS ANGELES, CA — Kendall Reeves, 28, a former competitive cheerleader, was arrested Saturday after allegedly locking her ex-boyfriend inside a golf course bathroom on Sunset Boulevard for five hours
LOS ANGELES, CA — Kendall Reeves, 28, a former competitive cheerleader, was arrested Saturday after allegedly locking her ex-boyfriend inside a golf course bathroom on Sunset Boulevard for five hours and sliding granola bars under the door "so he wouldn't get hangry." According to the police report, Reeves followed her ex onto the course at dusk, waited until he stepped into the restroom near the 7th hole, and braced the door shut from outside using a golf bag and a length of cart cord. Responding officers say they found: - The restroom door pinned shut with a stand bag and a knotted cord - 11 granola bars slid under the door in 30-minute intervals - A laminated sign reading "Exit when ready to be honest" - A water bottle pushed through the gap "so he wouldn't dehydrate either" - Reeves on a nearby bench keeping a snack log "to be fair about portions" Course staff said the ex-boyfriend was unharmed but had missed his back nine and a tee time at hole 12. "She informed us he was 'almost done thinking it over' and asked us to pause," said LAPD Officer Daniel Pruitt. "She said the next granola bar was 'already cued up.'" The stand bag was logged into evidence and declined to comment. Reeves was charged with unlawful imprisonment and released Sunday. She reportedly asked officers whether his "five hours counted as a full round." She turned a halfway bathroom into a full conversation. His snacks held up. His freedom did not. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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