Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, May 19, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER STEALING BEST FRIEND’S CHEATING HUSBAND’S GOLF CLUBS AND MAILING THEM ONE-BY-ONE TO HIS ALLEGED MISTRESS
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER STEALING BEST FRIEND’S CHEATING HUSBAND’S GOLF CLUBS AND MAILING THEM ONE-BY-ONE TO HIS ALLEGED MISTRESS ORLANDO, FL — A Florida woman was arrested after police say she spent 14 straight weeks secretly stealing golf clubs from her best friend’s husband and mailing them individually to the address of the woman he was allegedly having an affair with. Ashley Monroe, 31, was taken into custody Tuesday after investigators linked her to what deputies called “the pettiest FedEx operation in central Florida.” According to police reports, Monroe became enraged after discovering her best friend’s husband had been “playing more than just golf on Thursdays.” Instead of confronting him directly, authorities say Ashley began removing one club at a time from his golf bag after neighborhood cookouts and shipping them anonymously to the alleged mistress’s apartment. The husband reportedly didn’t notice at first because: * He blamed poor swings on “humidity” * Thought he’d left clubs at different courses * Was “emotionally overconfident” about his short game * Allegedly hadn’t used some clubs in years Things finally unraveled when he arrived at a charity tournament with only a putter, one wedge, and “visible confusion.” Police say the mistress eventually contacted authorities after receiving 14 separate packages over 14 weeks containing random clubs and handwritten notes saying: “Since you like sharing.” Investigators claim Ashley admitted everything immediately and reportedly told deputies: “I regret nothing except mailing the 7-iron priority overnight.” Neighbors described her as “quiet, organized, and clearly operating on pure vengeance.” Monroe was charged with misdemeanor theft and harassment before later being released. Authorities confirmed the clubs have since been returned, though police reports state “the marriage remains in critical condition.” #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
BREAKINGWAITRESS ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY DUMPING A WHOLE FRYER BASKET OF…
PROVIDENCE, RI — Authorities arrested Marconi's Italian Grill waitress Sophia Renata Vitaliano, 27, on Friday…
FLORIDAFLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER STEALING POLICE CRUISER FROM WAFFLE HOUSE…
PENSACOLA, FL — A Florida man was arrested after police say he stole a patrol car from a Waffle House parking…
FLORIDAFLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY TRYING TO TRADE A LIVE IGUANA…
KISSIMMEE, FL — Authorities arrested Dale Beauford Patterson, 51, on Tuesday afternoon after he allegedly…
FILEDPANAMA CITY, FL — Jacob Tanner, 31, was detained Saturday morning…
According to the police report, Tanner sat at the counter, ordered an All-Star Special with extra hash…