Filed by The Dude on Wednesday, June 24, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER RIDING HORSE INTO WAFFLE HOUSE AND ORDERING "TWO COFFEES, PLEASE"
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER RIDING HORSE INTO WAFFLE HOUSE AND ORDERING "TWO COFFEES, PLEASE" JACKSONVILLE, FL — Customers at a local Waffle House got more than scattered, smothered, and covered Saturday morning when a man allegedly rode a full-sized horse through the front door and calmly requested a table for two. Police say 52-year-old Randy Whitaker entered the restaurant at approximately 7:12 a.m. atop his horse, Duke, before approaching the counter and asking a stunned waitress for "two coffees and whatever he's in the mood for." Witnesses say nobody immediately questioned the situation because it was a Waffle House. According to the incident report: Duke remained surprisingly polite. The horse waited patiently in line. Several customers asked to take selfies. One employee reportedly asked if the horse wanted hash browns. Things escalated when Whitaker allegedly requested a booster seat for Duke so he could "eat comfortably." Employees informed him that horses were not permitted inside the restaurant. Whitaker reportedly argued that Duke was "more well-behaved than half the lunch crowd." Police arrived after the horse allegedly began sniffing plates belonging to nearby customers. When officers asked why he entered the restaurant on horseback, Whitaker reportedly replied: "Parking was limited." As he was escorted outside, witnesses claim Duke neighed loudly when a waitress carried out a plate of waffles. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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