Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, June 30, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER HERDING CHICKENS THROUGH A DOLLAR GENERAL "TO SHOW THEM THE DEALS"
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER HERDING CHICKENS THROUGH A DOLLAR GENERAL "TO SHOW THEM THE DEALS" She did not steal anything, she did not threaten anyone, she simply marched nine live chickens down aisle four and started pointing at clearance tags. OZARK, AL — Local resident Brenda Tackett, 47, was arrested Tuesday morning after walking a flock of nine hens into a Dollar General so they could, in her words, "see the deals for themselves." Tackett guided the chickens past the register with a yardstick and a bag of cracked corn she sprinkled down each aisle She stopped at the $1.25 endcap and told the birds, "Now this is value," while an employee filmed in disbelief One hen knocked over a tower of paper towels; another laid an egg directly on a clearance bin of pool noodles Police say she had also taped a tiny handwritten "SALE" sign to the lead rooster's back When asked to leave, she insisted the flock "had not finished comparing prices" A shopper near the coolers told reporters she has lived in town 30 years and never once expected to be outrun to checkout by poultry. "In 21 years on this force I have written a lot of strange reports, but 'suspect was educating chickens on savings' is a first," said Sergeant Earl Whitfield, reading the citation aloud. The chickens were released to a relative. The yardstick is now evidence. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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