Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, June 30, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER DRIVING A POWER WHEELS JEEP ONTO A HIGHWAY ON-RAMP "TO BEAT TRAFFIC"
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER DRIVING A POWER WHEELS JEEP ONTO A HIGHWAY ON-RAMP "TO BEAT TRAFFIC" Rush hour was crawling, his patience was gone, and his solution was a bright red toy Jeep with a top speed of about four miles an hour. JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local resident Kyle Brennan, 37, was arrested Thursday after merging a child's Power Wheels Jeep onto an I-95 on-ramp, telling troopers he was "tired of sitting in gridlock like everybody else." Brennan reached an estimated 4 mph in the breakdown lane while sipping a gas station coffee balanced on the plastic dash He had zip-tied a phone mount to the toy windshield and was running GPS the entire time Witnesses say he used hand signals to change lanes because "the blinker was just a sticker" Police clocked traffic backing up behind him as drivers slowed to film the $89 vehicle When stopped, he argued the Jeep was "street legal in spirit" and offered to "pull over, which took a while" A commuter stuck behind him told reporters he has driven that ramp for years and never been passed, on the right, by a toddler's birthday present. "In 23 years on the highway patrol I have seen a lot, but never had to radio in 'subject operating a Power Wheels at parade speed,'" said Trooper Vince Hollis, reading the report. The Jeep was loaded onto the flatbed sideways. The coffee was still upright. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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