Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, June 30, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
POWERBALL WINNER ARRESTED AFTER MAILING HIS EX A CHECK FOR ONE PENNY WITH THE MEMO "ALL YOU GET"
POWERBALL WINNER ARRESTED AFTER MAILING HIS EX A CHECK FOR ONE PENNY WITH THE MEMO "ALL YOU GET" He hit a $90 million jackpot and the very first thing he did was drive to the bank, request a single penny, and mail it to the woman who left him. ORLANDO, FL — Local resident Marco Delgado, 34, was arrested Tuesday after sending his ex-girlfriend a certified check for exactly one cent, with the memo line reading "all you get." Delgado reportedly won $90 million in the Powerball drawing nine days before mailing the envelope He had the bank issue an official cashier's check for $0.01 and paid $3.50 in certified mail just to make it formal Inside the envelope he included a printed receipt for "emotional damages, balance due: zero" His ex called police after he allegedly sent a follow-up postcard reading "cashed it yet?" He told officers the penny was "more than fair" and "rounded up out of kindness" A neighbor who saw the arrest told reporters the whole block has argued about it for days, with half calling him petty and half calling him a legend. "In 24 years I have never made an arrest where both parties left more satisfied than when they came in," said Sergeant Wendy Cole, reading the report. The penny remains uncashed. The postcard is now in a case file. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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