Filed by The Dude on Saturday, August 15, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
NEW YORK WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY DATING EX-BOYFRIEND'S BOSS -- POLICE SAY AN ATTACHED SIGN READ "FOR YOU." NO ONE HURT.
NEW YORK WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY DATING EX-BOYFRIEND'S BOSS -- POLICE SAY AN ATTACHED SIGN READ "FOR YOU." NO ONE HURT. New York, NY -- A 28-year-old Manhattan woman is facing harassment charges after her ex-boyfriend contacted police alleging a coordinated campaign that culminated in her appearing at his company's holiday party on the arm of his direct supervisor, wearing a name tag investigators described as unnecessary given the circumstances.Sloane Whitfield, 28, told officers the relationship was genuine. Her ex-boyfriend's attorney described the timeline as deliberate. The boss has not returned calls.According to the filing the operation unfolded over six weeks and included: A LinkedIn connection request to the supervisor sent four hours after the breakup Two dinners, one lunch, and a weekend trip to the Catskills documented across three social media platforms set to public A photo posted outside the ex-boyfriend's office building described in the caption as "love this neighborhood" Attendance at the company holiday party during which she slow-danced within direct eyeline of the ex for eleven minutes A handwritten note delivered to the ex-boyfriend's desk via the company mail system that read "for you" and contained nothing else The ex-boyfriend told officers he could not prove anything.Investigators agreed this was the point.The boss called it the best six weeks of his life. He has since been made aware of the context.The company mail system declined to comment.No one was hurt. Several people were uncomfortable. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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