Filed by The Dude on Saturday, August 15, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
94-YEAR-OLD MAN ARRESTED FOR TEST-DRIVING SAME CORVETTE 300 TIMES WITH NO INTENT TO BUY — "I NEVER SAID I WAS BUYING, I SAID I WAS INTERESTED"
94-YEAR-OLD MAN ARRESTED FOR TEST-DRIVING SAME CORVETTE 300 TIMES WITH NO INTENT TO BUY — "I NEVER SAID I WAS BUYING, I SAID I WAS INTERESTED" GRANT HOLLOW, MO — Arthur Pell, 94, was arrested at a car dealership after staff determined he had test-driven the same $89,000 Corvette approximately 300 times over four years without ever making an offer. Police say Pell: Arrived most Tuesdays at 10 a.m., asked for the same car, and drove the same 6-mile loop Filled out a new interest form each visit, always leaving the budget line blank Told 11 different salespeople he was "still thinking about it" Once brought his own driving gloves and a thermos Never once negotiated, never once asked the price Witnesses say newer employees assumed he was a longtime customer. One salesman reportedly kept the keys in his desk drawer specifically for him. The dealership only acted after the car finally sold to someone else. "He wasn't upset it sold," said Officer Wanda Crews of Grant Hollow PD, a 19-year veteran. "He was upset nobody told him first. He said he would have liked one more." Pell was issued a trespass warning and charged with fraud. He has been banned from the lot. He asked for a photo with the car. He drove it 300 times. He never owned it once. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
FILEDMOM CHARGED AFTER SMUGGLING A BOXED WINE BAG INSIDE A PLUSH DOLPHIN…
TAMPA, FL — Simone Alvarado, 32, was charged after security discovered she had cut open a stuffed plush…
FILEDWOMAN CHARGED AFTER HIRING A BAGPIPE PLAYER TO SERENADE HER EX'S NEW…
SAVANNAH, GA — Fiona Delacroix, 29, was charged after hiring a professional bagpiper to perform outside her…
EYEWITNESSMAN ARRESTED AFTER BRINGING A GOAT TO A JOB INTERVIEW, SAYS IT WAS…
DELMONT, PA — Casey Underwood, 26, was arrested for trespassing after leading a full-grown goat into a…
FILEDMAN KICKED OFF CRUISE AFTER TURNING HOT TUB INTO A PRIVATE PARTY
COZUMEL, MEXICO — Grant Ostella, 39, was removed from the ship's main hot tub and issued a formal warning…