Filed by The Dude on Saturday, August 15, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER RIDING A LAWNMOWER THROUGH A CAR WASH
FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER RIDING A LAWNMOWER THROUGH A CAR WASH OCALA, FL — Randall "Bud" Ferris, 58, was arrested after driving his riding lawnmower directly through an automatic car wash tunnel, triggering the brush arms and soap cycle while still seated on the mower, engine running the entire time. Employees said Ferris had pulled up to the entrance in broad daylight, inserted cash at the payment kiosk, and proceeded straight into the tunnel as if nothing were unusual. Witnesses said he emerged soaked, still upright, calmly steering the mower out the exit while the underbody blowers dried the grass clippings stuck to the deck. Police say Ferris had approached the wash with total confidence, and recovered the following items from the mower's attached basket: A car wash receipt showing the "Deluxe Package" was purchased in full A tarp draped loosely over the engine, which did little to protect it A grass-stained work shirt from Bud's Tractor Service, still worn during the wash A handwritten note in his pocket reading "MOWER NEEDED A GOOD RINSE ANYWAY" A soap-soaked seat cushion later confirmed to be a total loss "I've managed this car wash for thirteen years and seen plenty of odd vehicles come through," said manager Terrence Boyle. "I've never had a riding mower go through the brushes with the driver still on it." The car wash tunnel itself declined to comment on the incident, though staff confirmed the brushes required recalibration afterward. He wanted a cleaner mower. He got a soaked one, a citation, and a very confused line of customers behind him. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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