Filed by The Dude on Sunday, August 16, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
A Tacoma, Washington woman was arrested Saturday after investigators confirmed she had placed 14 separate food delivery orders to her ex-boyfriend's apartment on a single Friday night, using 14 differ
A Tacoma, Washington woman was arrested Saturday after investigators confirmed she had placed 14 separate food delivery orders to her ex-boyfriend's apartment on a single Friday night, using 14 different platforms, 14 different fake names, and attaching a custom note to each order reading simply "from someone who remembers your address." Shannon Leigh Krebsenberg, 42, reportedly spent roughly 94 minutes between 6:42 p.m. and 8:16 p.m. placing the orders from her kitchen island, coordinating the arrivals in 6-to-9-minute staggered intervals to create what one officer called "a sustained culinary pressure campaign." "My doorbell rang 14 times," the ex, Nathan Clyde Ostermeyer, 36, told reporters. "By ring eight, I stopped answering. By ring eleven, I stopped breathing." According to the arrest affidavit, Krebsenberg's coordinated order set included: - A family-sized meat lover's pizza from Domino's - Four entrees from a Thai place he had mentioned liking once - A catering tray of sushi sized for a retirement party - A DoorDash from a steakhouse 43 minutes away - A dessert bouquet with a card reading "still here" - A single Uber Eats coffee, delivered at 8:04 p.m., lukewarm on purpose The orders totaled $487.22 and were charged to a prepaid Visa Krebsenberg had bought in cash at a gas station, officers confirmed, and every order was filed under a different first name drawn alphabetically from "Abigail" through "Nora." "She used 14 apps," responding officer Trenton Vasquez told reporters. "She created two new accounts just to hit her goal." Krebsenberg allegedly told officers the campaign was "a gesture of continued awareness" and that she "had no intention of harassment," only of "reminding him I am observant." Krebsenberg declined further comment. The sushi declined to comment. The dessert bouquet is in evidence. An officer noted, "In 19 years I have never booked someone based on a delivery radius." Krebsenberg faces harassment and one count of aggravated address recall. The food is redistributed. The doorbell, mercifully, is disabled. Images and full story copyrameted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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