Filed by The Dude on Tuesday, September 1, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER HIRING A CLOWN TO ATTEND EVERY ONE OF HER EX'S SOFTBALL GAMES AND CLAP SARCASTICALLY
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER HIRING A CLOWN TO ATTEND EVERY ONE OF HER EX'S SOFTBALL GAMES AND CLAP SARCASTICALLY DENVER, CO — Priya Chandaria, 29, was arrested after hiring a professional clown to attend every one of her ex-boyfriend's weekly softball games for an entire season, instructing the clown to sit directly behind home plate and clap sarcastically after every single one of his at-bats. League officials say the clown had become a fixture at games for weeks, silently unsettling players and confusing spectators long before anyone connected it back to Priya. Hired the clown for the entire remaining softball season in advance Instructed the clown to sit directly behind home plate every game Specified sarcastic slow-clapping after each of the ex's at-bats specifically Paid the clown in cash to avoid any traceable payment record Continued the arrangement even after the ex complained to league officials Requested the clown bring balloon animals shaped like "strikeouts" specifically Told the clown to wave enthusiastically only when the ex struck out Fellow players reportedly grew increasingly unnerved by the silent, sarcastically clapping clown appearing at every single game without explanation. League commissioner Aaron Delgado, seven years overseeing the league, said, "I've dealt with heckling fans before. I've never had a professional clown hired specifically to sarcastically clap at one player." The clown costume, now retired from softball duty, declined to comment. Priya's clown contract has since been terminated, along with any further access to the league's games. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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