Filed by The Dude on Friday, September 18, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
TRUMP DEMANDS 7UP BECOME 10UP: “SEVEN IS NOT AMBITIOUS ENOUGH”
TRUMP DEMANDS 7UP BECOME 10UP: “SEVEN IS NOT AMBITIOUS ENOUGH” Seven was apparently three short of greatness. Trump studied a can of 7UP over lunch and demanded a more ambitious number. Ten was selected before anyone could explain what the original seven represented, which saved several minutes of research and created several weeks of packaging work. An aide suggested the drink might taste exactly the same. Trump said the improvement would be visible on the outside. A designer enlarged the digits until the lemon barely fitted on the label. The first sample was served in an ordinary glass, causing immediate concern that nobody could see the progress. Staff solved that by leaving the can beside it. Productivity had never looked so fizzy. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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