Filed by The Dude on Friday, September 18, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
VANILLA ICE ANNOUNCES HE WILL OPEN FOR ED SHEERAN
VANILLA ICE ANNOUNCES HE WILL OPEN FOR ED SHEERAN A concert bill with Ed Sheeran at the top and Vanilla Ice beneath him has turned one word into an argument: “open.” Half the crowd pictures an introduction. The other half wants to know whether the man behind “Ice Ice Baby” is about to warm up an arena for a singer who was born after the song became a hit. The set list writes itself. Vanilla Ice walks out first, gets everyone chanting the hook, then hands the microphone over just as thousands of people remember they bought tickets for Ed. Fans of both artists are already claiming the better slot. One side says a classic deserves the final bow; the other says being able to fill the arena now settles the running order. The truly uncomfortable question is whether the crowd would be louder for the opening act. Ed could spend the whole night trying to follow a chorus people learned before some of his fans were born. So who has the tougher job here: Vanilla Ice opening the show, or Ed Sheeran following him? Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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