Filed by The Dude on Friday, September 18, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
RESEARCHERS SAY MEN UNDER 5’8” HAVEN’T TOUCHED CAR FLOORS IN DECADES — LA PROPOSES MANDATORY CAR SEATS
RESEARCHERS SAY MEN UNDER 5’8” HAVEN’T TOUCHED CAR FLOORS IN DECADES — LA PROPOSES MANDATORY CAR SEATS LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Researchers' claim that shorter men had not touched car floors in decades became the centerpiece of a proposed mandatory car-seat rule. The study's most quoted line appeared on signs before anyone at the hearing could say how the observation had been measured. Jules Navarro, 27, told council members he could reach both pedals and the floor. A supporter asked him to demonstrate. He refused to turn a public meeting into a driver's-ed test. Another man suggested the city investigate vehicles with seats that do not adjust instead of requiring adults to buy equipment designed for toddlers. The hearing became a parade of personal measurements, shoe claims, and photographs of feet. A council member tried to ask about crash data. The audience asked whether she was wearing heels. No final rule emerged, but local shops reported a sudden demand for tape measures and a complete lack of demand for booster seats. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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