Filed by The Dude on Saturday, September 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
CITY COUNCIL VOTES TO BAN SHORT MEN FROM DRIVING WITHOUT A CHILD SAFETY SEAT AND PROOF SOMEONE BELIEVED THEIR HEIGHT LIE
CITY COUNCIL VOTES TO BAN SHORT MEN FROM DRIVING WITHOUT A CHILD SAFETY SEAT AND PROOF SOMEONE BELIEVED THEIR HEIGHT LIE AUSTIN, TEXAS — A city-council proposal would bar short men from driving without a child safety seat and proof that someone believed their claimed height. The first part angered drivers. The second part made everyone wonder why the traffic office wanted access to dating conversations. Caleb Ross, 30, showed up to protest with his license, registration, and a message from a match who had called him “tall enough.” A clerk said the phrase did not establish a measurement. Caleb replied that the proposed law did not explain what kind of romantic testimony would. Opponents asked why visibility could not be addressed with adjustable seats. Supporters argued that the rule would force drivers to think about sight lines. Neither side could explain how a stranger's opinion on an app made a car safer. Caleb went home still allowed to drive. His match stopped replying after he asked her to notarize the compliment. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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