Filed by The Dude on Thursday, July 16, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
Man Charged After Supergluing Every Shopping Cart Together Outside His Ex's Workplace
Man Charged After Supergluing Every Shopping Cart Together Outside His Ex's Workplace ORLANDO, FL — A Florida man has been charged after police say he spent nearly two hours outside a grocery store allegedly gluing more than 80 shopping carts into one giant metal chain outside the supermarket where his ex-girlfriend worked. Investigators say customers arriving for the morning rush discovered every cart locked together so tightly employees couldn't separate them. Store workers reportedly tried pulling them apart with pickup trucks before realizing every handle had been coated with industrial-strength adhesive. Police say surveillance footage shows the suspect calmly wearing work gloves while methodically applying glue to each connection before walking away carrying an empty bottle and humming to himself. The prank delayed store operations for nearly three hours and forced employees to hand shoppers baskets instead. According to detectives, the suspect later admitted doing it because his ex once joked he "couldn't commit to anything." His response? "I committed every cart in the parking lot." Officers say even after the glue was dissolved, employees kept referring to the massive cluster as "the relationship." Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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