Filed by The Dude on Saturday, July 18, 2026 — a satirical florida report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
FLORIDA MAN LOCKED INSIDE HOME DEPOT OVERNIGHT FOUND LIVING IN A TWO-STORY TREEHOUSE HE BUILT IN AISLE 12
FLORIDA MAN LOCKED INSIDE HOME DEPOT OVERNIGHT FOUND LIVING IN A TWO-STORY TREEHOUSE HE BUILT IN AISLE 12 TAMPA, Fla. — Customers arriving for the morning rush at a Florida Home Depot got more than discounted lumber after employees reportedly discovered a fully furnished two-story treehouse hidden nearly 25 feet above Aisle 12—with a man calmly sipping coffee from the upstairs balcony. Police say Derek Collins, 36, accidentally got locked inside the store shortly before closing but decided "it would be a waste of a perfectly good night" and got to work. Using only items found on the sales floor, Collins allegedly built a towering treehouse complete with a staircase, rocking chair, battery-powered lights, insulation, flower boxes, curtains, and a mailbox labeled "Cabin #12." Investigators say he even assembled a tiny front porch where he watched forklifts begin the morning shift while waving to confused employees below. Store staff initially believed the structure was part of a Father's Day promotion until Collins shouted, "Morning, neighbors!" and asked if anyone could bring him another box of deck screws. Deputies say he had also installed a welcome mat, hung a "Home Sweet Home" sign, and written a shopping list that simply read: "Need roof. Need Wi-Fi." When officers climbed up to arrest him, Collins allegedly asked if they would "at least let him finish staining the porch." The treehouse took nearly four hours to dismantle, with several customers reportedly asking if it was available for purchase. The internet instantly crowned him "Employee of the Month," while one viral comment read: "Honestly… if he built it better than my contractor, let the man cook." Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
FILEDA NEW LOOK: WOMAN ARRESTED FOR REPLACING HIS ENTIRE WARDROBE WITH…
All 41 pairs of his work pants were donated to a church rummage sale under his own name His sock drawer was…
FILEDMAN ARRESTED AFTER HIDING UNDER DESSERT TABLE UNTIL SEAFOOD NIGHT…
MARLOW BEND, SC — Dwight Kesselring, 42, was arrested Friday after buffet staff discovered him hiding beneath…
FILEDBUFFET CUSTOMER ARRESTED AFTER SLEEPING OVERNIGHT IN BATHROOM TO BE…
PLEASANT KNOLL, KY — Tammy Ruddick, 44, was arrested Monday after staff discovered she had spent the entire…
FILEDBUFFET WORKERS SAY MAN ASKED WHERE THE "SECOND BUFFET" WAS AFTER…
TIMBER GLEN, MO — Curtis Ashby, 40, was detained Thursday after buffet workers say he calmly finished the…