Filed by The Dude on Thursday, August 6, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN CHARGED AFTER ORDERING 40 PIZZAS TO HIS OFFICE UNDER HIS NAME
WOMAN CHARGED AFTER ORDERING 40 PIZZAS TO HIS OFFICE UNDER HIS NAME DENVER, CO — Sierra Macallister, 27, was charged this week after ordering 40 pizzas to her ex-boyfriend's office under his own name, deliberately omitting every topping he actually likes. Office staff say the delivery arrived in waves over twenty minutes, with drivers stacking boxes across the entire front desk as confused employees tried to figure out who had placed such a massive order. 40 pizzas confirmed delivered, every single one topped with plain cheese or vegetables he was known to dislike A receipt showing the order placed under his full name and office address, paid for entirely online A front desk log showing four separate delivery drivers arriving within a fifteen-minute window A coworker's statement that he had to personally apologize to the entire office for the confusion A voicemail to a friend joking she wanted him to "choke down forty pizzas he'd never actually order" Investigators say the split happened one week earlier after the ex, identified in the report only as "Dylan," ended things over text while she was still paying for a shared food delivery subscription. "I've worked harassment complaints for ten years," said Detective Renata Osei. "First time the entire case was forty pizza boxes." The pizza chain, once contacted, confirmed the order was legitimate and fully paid, adding that it "doesn't screen for personal disputes." Some breakups end with silence. His ended with forty pizzas nobody asked for. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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