Filed by The Dude on Monday, September 28, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
NEW YORK MAN'S EX ARRIVES AT HIS OFFICE DRESSED AS A LIFE-SIZED TACO
NEW YORK MAN'S EX ARRIVES AT HIS OFFICE DRESSED AS A LIFE-SIZED TACO Evan Cormack thought the worst message his receptionist could send was "HR needs you." Then his screen lit up with: "There is a taco downstairs asking for closure." His ex-girlfriend, Marissa Doyle, had arrived at his Albany, New York, office wearing a full foam taco costume over her regular clothes. They had broken up two weeks earlier. Evan had returned her belongings, answered her messages and asked her to stop contacting him at work. Marissa decided the missing ingredient was theatrical lettuce. At reception, she announced, "I'm just nacho average ex." The receptionist asked whether she had an appointment. Marissa said she had history. That was not one of the options in the visitor system. Within minutes, employees were finding urgent reasons to walk through the lobby. Someone arrived carrying an empty water bottle despite passing two working kitchen taps. A conference call paused when its host whispered, "She's got shredded cheese on her shoulders." Evan came downstairs and asked Marissa to leave. She accused him of refusing to have a serious conversation, then had to turn sideways because her shell was wedged against a visitor chair. Security cleared the space and escorted her toward the entrance. On the way out, she tried to hand Evan a card reading LET'S TACO BOUT US. He declined. The receptionist handed Marissa the parking ticket she'd left on the desk instead. Upstairs, Evan's manager rescheduled their meeting and sent a brief reminder that personal visitors needed approval. By lunch, the office group chat had 147 unread messages and somebody had canceled taco Tuesday. Marissa later texted that he'd embarrassed her in front of everyone. Evan stared at the message, then at a piece of foam tomato still stuck to his sleeve. Is a grand gesture still romantic when the other person has already asked you to leave them alone? Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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