Filed by The Dude on Monday, September 28, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER SPENDING 6 WEEKS POSING AS A COSTCO EMPLOYEE AND RECOMMENDING TEQUILA PAIRINGS FOR FROZEN FOODS
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER SPENDING 6 WEEKS POSING AS A COSTCO EMPLOYEE AND RECOMMENDING TEQUILA PAIRINGS FOR FROZEN FOODS PHOENIX, AZ — A woman was arrested after allegedly spending more than a month impersonating a Costco employee and offering customers highly specific tequila recommendations for frozen foods. According to investigators, 43-year-old Melissa Grant purchased a red vest online, printed a fake employee badge, and began showing up at a local Costco several times a week. Customers reportedly never questioned it. Witnesses say Grant spent hours wandering the aisles, helping shoppers choose products and enthusiastically suggesting alcohol pairings. Among her recommendations: Frozen taquitos with silver tequila Chicken bakes with spicy margaritas Mini tacos with reposado Costco muffins with “breakfast tequila” Authorities say her popularity grew rapidly after several customers began seeking her out by name. Store management first became suspicious when shoppers repeatedly complimented the company's “new tequila sommelier program.” One customer allegedly wrote a positive review praising her expertise. The problem? No such position existed. Investigators say Grant's scheme unraveled after she attempted to organize an unofficial tasting event beside the frozen foods section. When confronted, she reportedly insisted she was performing a public service. “People deserve beverage guidance.” Employees say customers were genuinely disappointed when security removed her from the store. One shopper reportedly asked management if the fake employee could be rehired. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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