Filed by The Dude on Monday, September 28, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
MAN KICKED OUT OF BUFFET AFTER HIRING TWO FRIENDS TO FETCH FOOD WHILE HE TOOK A NAP AT THE TABLE
MAN KICKED OUT OF BUFFET AFTER HIRING TWO FRIENDS TO FETCH FOOD WHILE HE TOOK A NAP AT THE TABLE MOBILE, ALABAMA — Colton Briggs, 42, was kicked out of a buffet after hiring two friends to collect food while he napped at the table. His instructions assigned one friend hot food and the other desserts, with a reminder not to duplicate effort. They quickly discovered that the job included defending their growing collection of plates to staff. One asked whether the agreed payment covered that responsibility. Colton said the role required initiative. The friend replied that initiative would have meant eating his own dinner while it remained hot, rather than attending a performance review beside a sleeping customer. Colton described the arrangement as delegation. His friends described it as ten dollars each and a list that kept changing. He had instructed them to wake him when fresh fried chicken arrived. Until then, they were to maintain a reserve of sides and monitor the dessert station. Staff found several untouched plates around him and asked the group to stop accumulating food. Colton woke long enough to say the team was operating within the unlimited-service concept. A manager explained that the dining room was not a storage facility or a sleeping area. Colton asked whether he could purchase a second admission to cover the nap. The group was told to leave after the food runs continued. One friend requested payment immediately. Colton argued that the shift had ended early and should be prorated. The ensuing disagreement lasted longer than his nap. As they left, the other friend took the written food list as proof of employment. Colton asked whether he could at least keep the dessert section. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
More From The Newsdesk
FLORIDAMAN ARRESTED AFTER ORDERING A MILKSHAKE AT A DRIVE-THRU ON A LAWN…
Dale Hensley drove a lawn mower to get a $6 milkshake and somehow left believing the restaurant owed him…
FILEDWOMAN ARRESTED AFTER SPENDING 6 WEEKS POSING AS A COSTCO EMPLOYEE AND…
PHOENIX, AZ — A woman was arrested after allegedly spending more than a month impersonating a Costco employee…
FILEDNEW YORK MAN'S EX ARRIVES AT HIS OFFICE DRESSED AS A LIFE-SIZED TACO
Evan Cormack thought the worst message his receptionist could send was "HR needs you." Then his screen lit up…
FILEDA suburban high school is in chaos after its principal was abruptly…
According to multiple parents, premium front-row parking spots that were supposed to be assigned by lottery…