Filed by The Dude on Thursday, September 10, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER MAILING 200 RUBBER DUCKS WITH HER FACE ON THEM TO HER MOTHER-IN-LAW, CLAIMS IT WAS "A HEARTFELT GIFT"
WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER MAILING 200 RUBBER DUCKS WITH HER FACE ON THEM TO HER MOTHER-IN-LAW, CLAIMS IT WAS "A HEARTFELT GIFT" AKRON, OH — A woman is facing charges after allegedly spending nearly six months and thousands of dollars creating what police called "the most aggressive family gift-giving campaign we've ever seen." Authorities say 42-year-old Brittany Keller ordered more than 200 custom rubber ducks featuring her own face and had them shipped directly to her mother-in-law's home in dozens of separate deliveries. The packages reportedly started arriving last fall. At first it was one duck. Then five. Then twenty. Soon every room in the house contained ducks. According to investigators, the mother-in-law found ducks in kitchen drawers, flower pots, coat pockets, the freezer, and even inside a Thanksgiving centerpiece. Neighbors reported seeing stacks of boxes arrive almost daily. The situation escalated when a shipment containing 73 ducks arrived with a note reading: "Since you already think about me all day, I figured these would help." Police say the victim repeatedly asked the shipments to stop, but the deliveries only increased. Detectives later discovered Keller had named every duck and maintained a spreadsheet tracking their arrival dates and emotional impact. One tab was reportedly labeled "Maximum Annoyance." The mother-in-law finally contacted authorities after opening a package marked "Family Emergency Kit" and finding nothing but 50 identical ducks staring back at her. When questioned by officers, Keller allegedly defended the project. "They're collectibles. Someday they'll be worth something." Authorities arrested her on harassment-related charges. As she was being booked, officers claim she asked if the county jail accepted rubber duck donations. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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