ON AIR
TRUMP DEMANDS SWISS CHEESE BE MADE WITHOUT HOLES: “AMERICANS DESERVE THE WHOLE SLICE”TRUMP RENAMES CHIHUAHUAS “POCKET PATRIOTS” AFTER ONE REFUSES TO LEAVE HIS CHAIRTRUMP RENAMES BRUSSELS SPROUTS “LITTLE AMERICAN CABBAGES”TWO RUSSIAN SISTERS MARRY A 60-YEAR-OLD FOR U.S. CITIZENSHIP—A WEEK LATER, THEY DISCOVER HE’S NOT…WOMAN CATCHES HUSBAND CHEATING, THEN GIVES HIM A LAXATIVE AND SUPERGLUES HIS BUTT SHUTTRUMP DEMANDS SWISS CHEESE BE MADE WITHOUT HOLES: “AMERICANS DESERVE THE WHOLE SLICE”TRUMP RENAMES CHIHUAHUAS “POCKET PATRIOTS” AFTER ONE REFUSES TO LEAVE HIS CHAIRTRUMP RENAMES BRUSSELS SPROUTS “LITTLE AMERICAN CABBAGES”TWO RUSSIAN SISTERS MARRY A 60-YEAR-OLD FOR U.S. CITIZENSHIP—A WEEK LATER, THEY DISCOVER HE’S NOT…WOMAN CATCHES HUSBAND CHEATING, THEN GIVES HIM A LAXATIVE AND SUPERGLUES HIS BUTT SHUT
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Filed by The Dude on Thursday, September 17, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]

★ BREAKINGFILEDFILED 3H AGO

WOMAN REPORTS NEIGHBOUR’S BBQ FOR MAKING HER VEGAN WEDDING GUESTS HUNGRY

WOMAN REPORTS NEIGHBOUR’S BBQ FOR MAKING HER VEGAN WEDDING GUESTS HUNGRY

WOMAN REPORTS NEIGHBOUR’S BBQ FOR MAKING HER VEGAN WEDDING GUESTS HUNGRY The wedding menu was carefully planned, entirely vegan and apparently no match for the neighbour's barbecue drifting over the fence. Guests began asking what smelled so good. The bride treated this as an external attack on the catering arrangements. She wanted the grilling stopped before more people became interested in a dinner they had not been invited to. The neighbour pointed out that he was cooking in his own garden. The bride pointed out that her guests had started looking toward it. The ceremony had united two people. The smell of burgers was dividing the reception. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY

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▍ THIS HAS BEEN ▍

THEDUDE
HUMOR REPORT

— THE DUDE ABIDES —

Back tomorrow with more reports, man.