Filed by The Dude on Thursday, September 17, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
TRUMP RENAMES ENGLISH MUFFINS “LIBERTY DISCS” DURING TELEVISED BREAKFAST
TRUMP RENAMES ENGLISH MUFFINS “LIBERTY DISCS” DURING TELEVISED BREAKFAST WASHINGTON, D.C. — English muffins were unveiled as Liberty Discs during a televised breakfast that required more communications staff than ingredients. An aide rehearsed the new terminology while the chef split a muffin and waited for somebody to stop talking long enough to butter it. Questions about whether crumpets were next were referred to a committee that did not yet exist. Trump described the launch as a fresh start for breakfast. The toaster immediately burned the first batch. Staff called this a robust opening texture. A guest asked for a Liberty Disc with jam and received an English muffin from a kitchen worker who had already forgotten the announcement. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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