Filed by The Dude on Saturday, September 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
DEATH ROW INMATE EATS AN ENTIRE BIBLE AS HIS LAST MEAL
DEATH ROW INMATE EATS AN ENTIRE BIBLE AS HIS LAST MEAL EVANSVILLE, INDIANA — Wesley Calder, 42, requested a Bible before his final meal. Staff assumed he wanted to read or pray. When the book arrived, he tore out a page and ate it. Then he kept going until the meal tray beside him was untouched and the book had become the meal. The supervising staff had to decide whether the request had been granted correctly or misunderstood in a way no menu form had anticipated. Wesley insisted he had asked for exactly what he wanted. Someone suggested taking the book away; someone else asked whether that meant denying a final meal already in progress. Outside the room, the story triggered predictable arguments about respect, procedure, and whether any rulebook could cover a request like this. The kitchen had prepared food. Wesley appeared more interested in making a point nobody could explain. By the end, the only person satisfied with the menu was the person who had never ordered from it. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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