Filed by The Dude on Saturday, September 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
TWO MEN TRYING TO STEAL BUS FUEL SIPHON THE TOILET TANK INSTEAD
TWO MEN TRYING TO STEAL BUS FUEL SIPHON THE TOILET TANK INSTEAD EUGENE, OREGON — Dean Ralston and a friend approached a parked coach with a hose and a container, hoping to siphon fuel. They found a tank, got the line in place, and began the kind of quiet work that depends on nobody asking what tank it is. They had chosen the toilet system. The discovery ended the operation instantly. They left the container and hose behind and abandoned a plan that had already gone wrong before they collected a drop of fuel. Investigators later had two pieces of equipment to examine and very little mystery about why the men had fled. People who heard the story argued over which mistake was worse: trying to steal fuel from a bus, or refusing to check the label before putting a hose into a tank. The coach operator was mainly interested in getting the mess cleaned up. The men went looking for free gas and found a lesson that cost more than a full tank. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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