Filed by The Dude on Saturday, September 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
TRUMP ORDERS SUBWAY TO CHANGE ITS NAME AFTER DISCOVERING NONE OF ITS RESTAURANTS MOVE
TRUMP ORDERS SUBWAY TO CHANGE ITS NAME AFTER DISCOVERING NONE OF ITS RESTAURANTS MOVE Trump walked into Subway expecting lunch and left demanding answers about the transport network. The restaurant had seats, a queue, and absolutely no intention of departing. He asked a member of staff when it moved. She asked whether he wanted his sandwich toasted. That response did little to resolve the naming dispute. An aide suggested that the name referred to the sandwich. Trump pointed out that the sandwich also appeared stationary. Several replacement names were written on a napkin. The queue continued growing while the bread remained where it was. Eventually, a customer picked up an order and left. It was the first successful departure of the visit, although no announcement was made over the speakers. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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