Filed by The Dude on Sunday, July 19, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN DETAINED AFTER CHANGING HER EX'S WI-FI NAME TO ISTILLLOVEJESSICA
WOMAN DETAINED AFTER CHANGING HER EX'S WI-FI NAME TO ISTILLLOVEJESSICA CORBIN HEIGHTS, DE — Jessica Vandermay, 33, was detained Monday after police say she remotely renamed her ex-boyfriend's home Wi-Fi network to "ISTILLLOVEJESSICA" and locked him out of the router settings for 11 days. Officers say the victim first became aware of the change when a house guest scrolled through available networks and asked, out loud, who Jessica was. Investigators say the access was never surrendered after the breakup: She had kept the router admin password, which he had never once changed The network name was visible to every neighbor within roughly 300 feet of the house She created two guest networks named "SHE WAS RIGHT" and "ASK HIM ABOUT IT" Each time he reset the router, the name reappeared within 20 minutes She set the network password to the date of their first anniversary, then changed it weekly A support technician documented 14 separate renaming events in a single week Neighbors say the network name became a running conversation at a neighborhood block party in June, with several residents assuming it was a public apology. "He could not stream anything without announcing his personal life to the entire street," said Officer Trent Bosswell, a 21-year veteran of the department. "She did not break into that house. She never had to." The router, still blinking steadily, declined to comment. He blocked her on every platform. She was still broadcasting. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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