Filed by The Dude on Sunday, August 9, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
WOMAN, 81, CITED AFTER BRINGING MEASURING CUPS TO VERIFY PORTION SIZES AT A CHAIN RESTAURANT
WOMAN, 81, CITED AFTER BRINGING MEASURING CUPS TO VERIFY PORTION SIZES AT A CHAIN RESTAURANT MAPLE HOLLOW, TN — Dana Forsythe, 81, was cited after bringing a full set of measuring cups and a portable kitchen scale to a chain restaurant, weighing every component of her dinner at the table and documenting the results against the menu's printed portion sizes. scale and measuring cups were set up directly on the table beside her plate before the meal was touched results were recorded by hand on a lined notepad comparing menu ounces to actual ounces for each item grilled chicken listed at 7 ounces reportedly weighed in at 6.2, with sides falling short as well Forsythe filed a formal customer complaint form on the spot requesting a $2.40 partial refund she signed the complaint form in full, listing the exact issue as "portion size less than stated on menu" Staff say the audit took nearly ten minutes to complete, with Forsythe working through each item calmly while other diners at nearby tables looked on. "We get complaints about portion size fairly often," said restaurant manager Owen Castellan, 9 years with the chain. "We've just never had someone show up with a scale and measuring cups to prove it item by item." Forsythe was cited for using outside equipment at the table in violation of house policy, though staff say the math itself checked out and the refund was issued anyway. She reportedly asked if she could keep a copy of the comparison chart for her records. Some diners complain about portions. Dana brought a scale, did the math, and got her $2.40 back. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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