Filed by The Dude on Friday, August 7, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
LOCAL RESIDENT MEGAN OSTROWSKI, 31, WAS ARRESTED AFTER COVERING HER EX-BOYFRIEND'S CAR IN 90 IDENTICAL STICKY NOTES EACH READING "WE NEED TO TALK"
LOCAL RESIDENT MEGAN OSTROWSKI, 31, WAS ARRESTED AFTER COVERING HER EX-BOYFRIEND'S CAR IN 90 IDENTICAL STICKY NOTES EACH READING "WE NEED TO TALK" Cedar Rapids, Iowa — Megan Ostrowski, 31, was arrested and charged with criminal mischief after police say she covered her ex-boyfriend's entire vehicle, windshield, rear window, hood, and mirrors, in 90 identical yellow sticky notes, each one handwritten with the exact same phrase, "WE NEED TO TALK." Investigators say Ostrowski worked in his driveway before sunrise, systematically applying the notes in neat overlapping rows until every visible surface of the car was covered. Ostrowski allegedly wrote each of the 90 notes individually rather than duplicating a template Witnesses say the note count included one folded specifically around the side mirror She reportedly stayed in the driveway for nearly forty minutes to complete full windshield coverage Neighbors say the car was completely undriveable until every note was manually peeled off Police were called after he discovered the vehicle covered when leaving for work that morning Neighbors described the scene as "genuinely impressive in scale" despite the obvious message behind it. "In 11 years working criminal mischief cases, I've never counted exactly 90 identical sticky notes as evidence," said Cedar Rapids PD Officer Renata Aldous. The sticky notes themselves were reportedly unavailable for comment, currently bagged as evidence. She wrote it once, then eighty-nine more, now she's the one who's facing the door. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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