Filed by The Dude on Thursday, September 17, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
★ BREAKINGFILEDFILED 2H AGO
TRUMP PROMISES TO BRING SHARPER IMAGE STORES BACK IF REPUBLICANS WIN THE MIDTERMS

TRUMP PROMISES TO BRING SHARPER IMAGE STORES BACK IF REPUBLICANS WIN THE MIDTERMS #funny #comedy
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