Filed by The Dude on Friday, September 18, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
LA OFFICIALS PROPOSE CAR SEATS FOR MEN UNDER 5’8” AFTER STUDY CLAIMS THEIR FEET HAVEN’T TOUCHED THE FLOOR SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL
LA OFFICIALS PROPOSE CAR SEATS FOR MEN UNDER 5’8” AFTER STUDY CLAIMS THEIR FEET HAVEN’T TOUCHED THE FLOOR SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — A proposed rule for men under 5'8" began with a claim that their feet had not reached car floors since middle school. That was enough to put adult car seats on the city agenda and turn an ordinary safety meeting into a room full of men insisting their feet touched the pedals just fine. Marcus Hale, 34, brought a photograph of himself driving. A council aide asked why the picture had been taken from below the steering wheel. Marcus said the angle was irrelevant and demanded to know whether boots would count toward the official measurement. Supporters called the idea practical. Opponents said the city had confused a driver's seat adjustment with a childhood development milestone. The proposal did not say what happened to a man who was exactly 5'8" after lunch but 5'7" in the morning. The public comment period ran long. Nobody brought a car seat, but several people brought rulers. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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